Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

I'm going to try to keep this one a little shorter... I realise it's enough to get you to come to this page, so might as well try to make it a little easier to read :)

So we've all heard of the old cliche story "The Road Not Taken", or been in a "crossroads" like situation... And I've been thinking a lot lately (because it's such a rare ocurrence), and I've kind of come to the point where I'm questioning my own decisions... not just here and there, but kind of in life in general. (PS: Notice this whole "challenge everything" is still prevailing? ... Seems like one of those things that just won't leave me alone.)

And then I find myself questioning these decisions, wondering if I am really making these decisions, or if they've been made for me?? Basically the premise for what I'm on about I guess, is fate. I've already talked about the love stuff, so I'm not going to focus on that side of fate... But more so the direction that our lives take.

I've mentioned before that I am only a young guy, and I know I think way too much for my age, but I can't help it. I guess I've just had to grow up and mature a lot quicker than many people, and with that my mind just goes crazy with a whole bunch of stuff that people probably just go with... But I can't do that. These last few weeks I've found that I've been questioning where I'm going in life? What is my direction? Where will I be in 5 years time? Will I have found a career that I'll enjoy? Will I have found "the one"? I'll be honest, I'm really nervous about where I'm going. Because I came to the conclusion quite recently that I have no plan, no idea, no clue, about where I want to go in my future. I'm studying a Commerce degree, but in no way, shape, or form, do I want to be involved in the business world. I am also majoring in journalism... but I refuse to be stuck behind a desk and be a "pencil pusher". So why am I doing it?

The same answer I keep coming up with is because it's just what I'm supposed to do... I've been set a course and this is the way it goes. I'm not preaching, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying "God has a plan for each and every one of his children"... No, I'm certainly not saying that at all. I'm just saying, or questioning, I guess, is everything planned for us already? Do we have our whole lives set out?

One small decision can change the course of history. We all know that... I asked around when thinking about this blog, about the courses our lives take, and how fate can impact upon them. I got varying answers.. A few people said that our lives are set out by fate. One said that life is what we make it, and the choices affect the path we take. Obviously everybody is going to have varying opinions on this, but it really does make me wonder... Do I already have my life planned out? Has "Mrs Right" already been picked out for me? Has my destiny already been chosen, and my date of death been set? Clearly some of these things we don't wnat to think about... And to be honest, I'm trying not to. I guess sometimes we all just need a bit of guidance. A little push in the right direction. A gentle nudge to help us along our way. Who is to say who should be giving this nudge, and how do these people giving them know which way to push us though? ... So I ask too many questions, and what is a blog if all it is, is asking questions?

I think, in my opinion, every word, every action, every thought, every move, affects who we are, what we do, who we will become, and where we will go. So yes, I believe we shape our own paths, and we create our own "destiny", if you will. I think we've all got some "drafts", some "sketches" of our lives drawn up in pencil. But ultimately, we're the ones with the eraser and the permanent marker. We're the ones that are going to mark out the path we are going to take. If only we knew the next move...

L.L.L.